I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
