id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
