I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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