it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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