dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
