You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize