I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Can you bring me the toilet please
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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