my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Randomize