WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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