There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize