I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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