i don't plan on having that self control this summer
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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