Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
