It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
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