Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
