maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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