i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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