i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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