Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
