Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
she peed on how many people?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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