I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
It's just like the Real World with babies
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize