Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize