Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
