i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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