U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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