Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
