before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
