we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
