Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
