Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Randomize