Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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