I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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