the condom got lost in my hair
and i looked up. we had an audience...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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