What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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