You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
