i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
