I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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