My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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