remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
