there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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