and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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