Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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