My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
