The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
