...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
