never play flip cup with pint glasses
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
