I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
