awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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