The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
