I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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