I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize