we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
