I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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