Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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