does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
