we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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