Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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