? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
