Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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