You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
