i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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