I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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