she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize