At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
