wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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