It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
cat food counts as protein by the way
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
