Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
