Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight

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(503): View more from Oregon

If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too

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(423): View more from Tennessee

You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.

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(678): View more from Georgia

I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.

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(209): View more from California

I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?

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