arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
