I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize