this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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