I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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