I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
my poor anus
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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