marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
My life is pants optional.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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