i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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