She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Couch. On fire.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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