i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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